In the last 10 weeks I have had to learn to adjust to not going out. I’ve kept in touch with friends and been out for a walk every day. I’ve planted vegetables, cleaned out cupboards, laughed at witty videos and shared funny stories and jokes. I’ve even enjoyed not being under so much pressure, the community spirit of ‘we’re all in it together’ and have got used to sleeping late in the mornings.
It’s not been that bad.
Or has it?
When I look back at the me of 10 weeks ago, adjusting to not going out has been easy in comparison to the emotional adjustments I think I’ve made purely to save me from being overwhelmed.
Did we ever know that we would be talking in the hundreds of people dying every day and for it to be a statistic? Could we ever have believed that our elders would be dying in care homes- all alone?
I miss my mum. I find myself talking to her every day. I feel like a child as I need an authority figure to guide me though this world I now don’t understand. I find it difficult to accept that the older woman is now me and it’s me that should be able to understand the world I live in.
Every day I am working so hard to stay strong and hopefully sane but at night the nightmares come-
I am a care home manager preparing to receive a Covid patient and cant find any PPE
or I’m an airport official and I have to stop people coming in and ask them to go into quarantine.
I can’t get to a tennis match as I can’t squash myself into a Taxi with one of my best friends.
On a bad day I feel disorientated and overwhelmed, desperately trying to work it all out and failing. Confusing and contradictory thoughts racing about in my mind.
I find myself crying over every little kindness.
Getting so angry over tiny little things.
So I turn to what I know.
If I spray the bedroom with Raindrops and roses spray I sometimes have a lovely, restful sleep.
I am not saying I don’t feel confused and disorientated just that by massaging Cloud Nine bath and massage oil into my feet and shins as I listen to The News, it might just be possible not to feel totally emotionally exhausted.
When feeling adrift- layering the bathroom with Cloud nine spray and a bath in Raindrops and roses body soak allows the strength of the Rose and Geranium essential oils to permeate your psyche, Neroli seems to help you regain your sense of being supported and not being overwhelmed.
A little massage of Bad day bath and massage oil into tight shoulders and neck before bedtime CAN help the quality of sleep.
We don’t know what is happening to us emotionally through having to deal with the Coronavirus Crisis.
However, I have experienced that the powerful emotional healing of essential oils is now, more than ever a positive in an uncertain world.